Here are some unbelievable true stories, some silly, some stupid, & some ingenious!
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation she happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the ER right away.
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Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plant and home.
When they took it for a float on the Stilliguamish River, they were quite surprised by a coast guard helicopter that was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
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A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching for speeders. But one day, everyone was under the speed limit, the officer found the problem: a 10 year old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD."
A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket at his feet, full of change.
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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.
"No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself.
He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in.
"Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway. Now, if only I could find my parakeet."
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Years ago while lying in my hammock I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence. Upon inspection, to my dismay, I realized it was the next door neighbor's 10 year old daughter's rabbit.
For years I had watched her come home from school and head straight out to it's cage, free it and play with it in the yard. I knew today would be no different and fearing for our dog, I had to think fast.
The rabbit was dirty, so I washed it off with the hose, combed it with the dog brush and blew it dry with the leaf blower. Upon finishing its grooming I jumped the fence and replaced it back in its cage hoping its death would be written off as "natural causes". Back to the hammock.
Within the hour the neighbors Volvo pulled in as usual and out popped the little girl, and as usual she headed straight for the cage. Only this time she stopped about six feet away and screamed: "DDDDAAAADDDDYYYY!"
Her father panic stricken stood looking at the cage. Being the good neighbor that I am I rushed to fence and asked if there was anything I could do.
Her father less than calmly blurted, "What kind of sick individual would dig up a little girl's dead rabbit and put it back in it's cage??"
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Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.
The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made.
But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.
NASA's response was just one sentence, "Thaw the chicken."
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday
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Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
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Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
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Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
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Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
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Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
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Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
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Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
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LOS ANGELES: Michael Jackson, “the King of Pop”, who once moon-walked above the music world, died Thursday as he prepared for a comeback bid to vanquish nightmare years of sexual scandal and financial calamity. He was 50.
Jackson died at UCLA Medical Center after being stricken at his rented home in Holmby Hills. Paramedics tried to resuscitate him at his home for nearly three-quarters of an hour, then rushed him to the hospital, where doctors continued to work on him.
“It is believed he suffered cardiac arrest in his home. However, the cause of his death is unknown until results of the autopsy are known,” his brother Jermaine said. Police said they were investigating, standard procedure in high-profile cases.
Jackson’s death brought a tragic end to a long, bizarre, sometimes farcical decline from his peak in the 1980s, when he was popular music’s premier all-around performer, a uniter of black and white music who shattered the race barrier on MTV, dominated the charts and dazzled even more on stage.
His 1982 album “Thriller” which included the blockbuster hits “Beat It,” “Billie Jean” and “Thriller” is the best-selling album of all time, with an estimated 50 million copies sold worldwide.
At the time of his death, Jackson was rehearsing hard for what was to be his greatest comeback: He was scheduled for an unprecedented 50 shows at a London arena, with the first set for July 13.
As word of his death spread, MTV switched its programming to play videos from Jackson’s heyday. Radio stations began playing marathons of his hits. Hundreds of people gathered outside the hospital. In New York’s Times Square, a low groan went up in the crowd when a screen flashed that Jackson had died, and people began relaying the news to friends by cell phone.
It is truly the greatest show on Earth, an ode to a diverse and democratic ethos, where 700 million + of humanity vote, providing their small part in directing their ancient civilization into the future. It is no less impressive when done in a neighborhood which includes de-stabilizing and violent Pakistan, China, and Burma. Its challenges are immense, more so probably than anywhere else, particularly in development and fending off terrorism -- but considering these challenges and its neighbors, it is even more astounding that the most diverse nation on Earth, with hundreds of languages, all religions and cultures, is not only surviving, but thriving.
The nation where Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Sikhism were born;
which is the second largest Muslim nation on Earth;
where Christianity has existed for 2000 years;
where the oldest Jewish synagogues and Jewish communities have resided since the Romans burnt their 2nd temple;
where the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan government in exile reside;
where the Zorostrians from Persia have thrived since being thrown out of their ancient homeland;
where Armenians and Syrians and many others have to come live;
where the Paris-based OECD said was the largest economy on Earth
1500 of the last 2000 years, including the 2nd largest only 200 years ago;
where 3 Muslim Presidents have been elected,
where a Sikh is Prime Minister,
the head of the ruling party a Catholic Italian woman,
where the President is also a women, succeeding a Muslim President who as a rocket scientist was a hero in the nation;
where a booming economy is lifting 40 million out of poverty each year and is expected to have the majority of its population in the middle class, already equal to the entire US population, by 2025;
where its optimism and vibrancy is manifested in its movies, arts, economic growth, and voting, despite all the incredible challenges and hardships;
where all the great powers are vying for influence, as it itself finds its place in the world...
Where all of this is happening.... is India
and as greater than 1/10 of humanity gets ready to vote,
it is an inspiration to all the World.
— V Mitchell, New York, NY
