Wednesday, July 30, 2008

WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A North Indian GIRL as WIFE

1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age.

2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.

3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movie theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.

4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder.

5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill.

6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her gray hair.

7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself.

8. You are a very "ESpecial" person to her.

9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south india until she met you.

10. When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to "!walk out"

11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town.

12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you"

13. She thinks Govinda can dance better than Michael Jackson.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Lamaze Class

A couple just started their Lamaze class, and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, “This doesn’t feel so bad.”

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.

“You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?” the husband asked.

“Exactly,” replied the instructor.

To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, pick up that pen for me.”

:) Have a Great Day !

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Joke of the Day

A man lying on his deathbed called to him, his lawyer, his doctor, and his pastor. "I am going to die tonight," and I want to prove that when you go to heaven you can take it all with you.

So to my three most trusted friends, you three of course, I am leaving 50,000 dollars in these envelopes. When I die you must come to my funeral and put the envelopes in my coffin with me." The man handed the three men identical envelopes.


A day later they each received news that, that night the old man had died . So each knew they must go to his funeral and fulfill his death wish.


Standing over the coffin one week later the pastor confessed, " I can't hide what I've done. I took 10,000 dollars from the envelope because the church needed to be painted."


Then as he did so the doctor also started to fidget then finally confessed “I took 30,000 dollars from my envelope because the hospital needed a new wing."


Ten the lawyer said plainly “You bunch of crooks! I wrote him a check for the full amount!"

Friday, July 25, 2008

A Successful Relationship . . .

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open.

He was late for work so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and fascinated by its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous
medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned.

She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words..





QUESTIONS:



1. What were the four words?



2. What is the implication of this story?







Scroll down to read..















ANSWER:


The husband just said "I Love You Darling" The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not happen.


No one to be blamed. She had lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave
her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiving attitude, selfishness, and fears. And you will find
things are actually not as difficult as you think.


"A successful relationship requires falling in love many times with the same person . . . "

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Muthu's Story

MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER
Interviewer : “What is your birth date?”
Muthu : “13th October.”
Interviewer : “Which year?”
Muthu : “Every year.”

MUTHU & HIS MANAGER
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview….
“Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?”
Muthu replied: “P-O-S-T-B-O-X.”

MUTHU & LONDON TRIP
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, “Do I look like a foreigner?”
Wife: “No! Why?”
Muthu : “In London, a lady asked me, ‘Are you a foreigner?’… that’s why.”
Wife : ?????????

MUTHU & TOURIST
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village… and Muthu said .. “No sir, only babies were born here.”

MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to “WALK! WALK!” The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it’s second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.

Then he cut off the third leg and did the same. Finally, he cut off it’s fourth leg and ordered it walk! But the cockroach didn’t walk. Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, “I found it. If we cut a cockroach’s four legs, it becomes deaf.”

MUTHU & DRIVER
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror. Muthu shouted, “You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back. I will drive.”

MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin. Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the
manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed towards the signboard “*****WASH BASIN***** ”

MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART
Interviewer : “Just imagine you’re in the 20th floor of a building and it ’s on fire. How will you escape?” Muthu: “It’s simple.. I will just stop my imagination.”

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Very Interesting and Informative Things

1

If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side

2

If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

3

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

4

Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

5

The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'.

6

The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

7

The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.

8

The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

9

Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

10

The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

11

Dalmatians are born without spots.

12

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

13

The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus', but for 'and' (in civil proceedings) or 'against' (in criminal proceedings)

14

Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left

15

The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids

16

The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee

17

Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks

18

The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones

19

Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die

20

Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart

21

The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate

22

When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red

23

When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red

24

The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor

25

The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney

26

Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros

27

Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan

28

It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it

29

The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples

30

There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower

31

The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting

32

Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death

33

It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body

34

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets

35

Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game

36

The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air

37

Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die

38

In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling).

39

Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."

40

The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot

41

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair

42

The average person laughs 13 times a day

43

Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)

44

Women blink nearly twice as much as men

45

German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog

46

Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump

47

Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound

48

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death

49

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.

50

The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Marriage Joke

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.
P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

You Might Be Stupid If...

...you can't remember how to spell "IQ."

...you can't remember the number for 911.

...you just discovered your AM radio also works in the afternoon.

...you use correction fluid on your PC monitor.

...you fail Physical Education.

...you can not spell it.

...you try to turn the light on to find a flashlight in a power outage!

...you put braille on a drive up teller machine.

...you think Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

...you think a pigpen is something to write with!!!

...you think a cartoon is a song about automobiles.

...you use your CD-ROM unit as a drink holder.

...you frequently misspell your own name.

...you've ever been stuck in a toilet seat.

...you walk your kid to school because you're in the same grade.

...it takes you two hours to watch 60 minutes.

...you often wonder who Ronald McDonald's parents are.

...you sell your car for gas money.

...you think Hamburger Helper comes with a man.

...you try thinking and nothing happens.

...you think a quarterback is a refund!!!

...you think hot dogs are real meat.

...people nick-name you Homer.

...you cook Minute Rice for an hour!

...upon approaching a traffic sign that says STOP AHEAD, you reach over and grab your passenger by the top of the head.

...you lose $25 on a horse race and then lose $25 on the instant replay!

...you were the one testing out the shark bite suit.

...you get tangled up in a cordless phone.

...you need to be reminded to breath.

...someone tells you to call 911, and you can't find the 11!

...you take a donut back cause it has a hole in it!

...you stare at an orange juice can because it says concentrate.

...you have to look "stupid" up in the dictionary.

...you sit on the T.V. and watch the couch.

...you tell your wife not to laugh as you point a gun to your head, because she is next!

...you think Yogi Bear played for the Yankees.

...you bronze a gold medal as a keep sake.

...you get lost in your closet.

... you take an I.Q. test and forget to write your name.

...you go around a revolving door looking for the door knob.

...you list the police department as a reference on your resume.

...you get fired from volunteer work.

...a hamburger is a cheeseburger, hold the cheese, to you.

...you run around looking for a quarter to call 911.

...you can't find the "ANY" key on the keyboard.

...you feel for one millisecond that you may have won the sweepstakes this time despite the fact that it is stamped in clear view "bulk rate."

...you try to look up a word in the dictionary without knowing how to spell it correctly, and you can't find it. Feeling like a ''genius'', that you realize that WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY made an error.

...you have to look on both ends to open a bottle.

...someone offers you a bagel and you reply, "No thanks, I already have a dog!"

...you turn the light on to see if it's dark.

...you take your chia pet for a walk.

...you wear your glasses while looking for them.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

CIA Job

A college graduate applied for a job at the Central Intelligence Agency. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor.

As soon as the young man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the packet. Inside, a message read: "You're our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor."

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Microsoft Air

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous.

Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around,rolls down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey where am I?"

To this, the solitary office worker replies, "You're in a plane."

The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.

The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.

"Simple," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just five miles due East."

Friday, July 11, 2008

Eight New Natural Wonders Named

Eight new natural wonders, including the Monarch Butterfly Biosphere Reserve in Mexico and what has been dubbed "the Galápagos of the Indian Ocean," have been added to the World Heritage List.

World Heritage Sites are named by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO). The sites, both cultural and natural, added to the list are deemed "of outstanding value to humanity" and deserve protection and preservation, according to the UNESCO Web site.

With the new additions, the World Heritage List now boasts 878 sites (679 cultural, 174 natural and 25 mixed) in 145 countries. The eight new natural sites added this year include:


"These eight stunning natural sites are amongst the best of what nature has to offer," said David Sheppard, head of the IUCN's Protected Areas Program, which recommended the sites. (IUCN stands for International Union for Conservation of Nature.)

Below are details on all the sites:

The Socotra Archipelago is known as "the Galápagos of the Indian Ocean" and is home to 825 plant species of which 37 percent can only be found there. Ninety percent of its reptile species can be found nowhere else. Its marine life is also diverse, with 253 species of reef-building corals, 730 species of coastal fish and 300 species of crab, lobster and shrimp.

Socotra is already well set up for long-term conservation, IUCN officials say, as about 75 percent of its land area is already included in natural sanctuaries and national parks.

The Joggins Fossil Cliffs have also drawn a comparison to the diverse Pacific Islands made famous by Charles Darwin's work, as they are sometimes called "the Coal Age Galápagos." The cliffs are considered to be an excellent reference site to the Coal Age (about 300 million years ago). The rocks there bear witness to the first reptiles in Earth's history and preserve upright fossil trees.

"This is a fascinating site where you can literally see a slice of history," said Tim Badman, World Heritage advisor of IUCN's Protected Areas Program.

Surtsey, a new island formed by volcanic eruptions off the southern coast of Iceland from 1963 to 1967, is interesting for the new life forms that have settled there. The young bit of land has provided a unique scientific record of the ways in which plants and animals colonize land.

The Mariposa Monarca Biosphere Reserve protects eight areas of wintering habitat of the monarch butterfly in the oyamel fir forests of central Mexico. After traveling thousands of kilometers, as many as a billion monarchs overwinter there.

More than 200,000 hectares of Central Asian steppe, a vast region of open grassland, is found in Saryarka, Kazakhstan — more than half of it is pristine. The area's Korgalzhyn-Tengiz lakes provide feeding grounds to around 16 million birds and support hundreds of thousands of nesting waterfowl.

"The wetlands of Korgalzhyn and Naurzum State Nature Reserves are key stopover points for migratory birds," Sheppard said. "Some of these species are globally threatened. Saryarka offers them a safe haven on their journeys from Africa, Europe and South Asia to their breeding grounds in Western and Eastern Siberia."

Saryarka is also home to the critically endangered saiga antelope (Saiga tatarica).

Mount Sanqingshan National Park in China was selected for its "outstanding natural beauty," the IUCN said. The park features a diverse forest and unusual granite rock formations, including shaped pillars and peaks, which can be viewed from suspended walking trails.

The Swiss Tectonic Arena Sardona, on the other hand, was picked for its geological value; it features a dramatic display of mountain-building, including an area called the Glarus Overthrust, where older rock overlays younger rock.

The highly diverse coral reef ecosystems of the Lagoons of New Caledonia put it on the new list — they equal or possibly surpass the larger Great Barrier Reef in coral and fish diversity.

These eight natural sites were accompanied by 27 cultural sites as inductees into the World Heritage program. The IUCN also helps monitor conservation at the natural sites. It has deemed several World Heritage sites as under threat, including the Galápagos Islands, in Ecuador, Machu Picchu, in Peru, and Virunga National Park, in the Democratic Republic of Congo

Saturday, July 5, 2008

New 7 Wonders of Nature - Vote Now !


Please browse through the list of nature sites nominated to date by a click on the world map below. Or select one of the following options:

To see a list of nature sites nominated to date, click on the map.

click

Friday, July 4, 2008

FIFA world cup - Facts

.......
Brazil won the world cup in 1994. Before that, he had won this title for the last time in 1970.

If you add up: 1970 + 1994 = 3964

Argentina
won the world cup for the last time in 1986. Before that only in 1978.

And 1978 + 1986 = 3964

Germany
, though, won the world cup in 1990. Before that, Germany won in 1974.

Look: 1990 + 1974 = 3964

This could lead us to guess the winner of the World Cup in 2002, since it should be the winner
of the 1962 World Cup (In fact 3964 - 2002 = 1962).

And Brazil won the world cup in 1962! (And, in fact, Brazil won the 2002 WC)

This numerology seems to work...

And now, who would be the winner of the 2006 world cup?

Let's see, 3964 - 2006 = 1958

And who won in 1958?....

Oh, Brazil did!!!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Mozilla Sets New Guinness World Record with Firefox 3 Downloads

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. – July 2, 2008 – Mozilla today announced it set a new Guinness World Record for the largest number of software downloads in 24 hours. The record-setting 8,002,530 downloads coincided with the launch of Firefox® 3, Mozilla’s major update to its popular and acclaimed free, open source Web browser.

Mozilla enthusiasts worldwide drove more than 1.7 million pledges to download Firefox 3 on Download Day, hosted regional download “fests,” and informed more than 43 million people through hosting Download Day affiliate buttons online. The global Mozilla community has been celebrating the historic goal of establishing a Guinness World Record with parties in more than 25 countries, including a 24-hour long download fest celebration called Camp Firefox at Mozilla’s Mountain View headquarters.

“The enthusiasm and creativity of Firefox fans was instrumental in achieving this record,” said Paul Kim, VP of Marketing at Mozilla. “Our community members came together and not only spread the word, but also took the initiative to help mobilize millions of people to demonstrate their belief that Firefox gives people the best possible online experience.”

“As the arbiter and recorder of the world’s amazing facts, Guinness World Records is pleased to add Mozilla’s achievement to our archives,” said Gareth Deaves, Records Manager for Guinness World Records. “Mobilizing over 8 million internet users within 24 hours is an extremely impressive accomplishment and we would like to congratulate the Mozilla community for their hard work and dedication.”

Foxkeh
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