Sunday, June 29, 2008

That is called confidance.

A hypothetical situation where 20 executives board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature pilotless technology: It is an uncrewed aircraft.
Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system.

Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse. One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed. Asked why he is so confirdent in this first uncrewed flight, he replies: "If it is the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off." ! ! ! !

This is called confidance.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Casual Day !


CasualDay - Office Humor

A Company decides to adopt Fridays as Casual Day and they issued a Memo to all department intimating the same.

Week 1

Memo 1: Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice.

Week 3

Memo 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day.

Week 6

Memo 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude.

Week 8

Memo 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance is mandatory.

Week 9

Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper casual-day dress.

Week 14

Memo 6: The Casual Day Task Force has distributed a 30-page manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards." A copy has been distributed to every employee.

Week 18

Memo 7: Company is providing psychological counseling for employees who may be having difficulty adjusting to Casual Day.

Week 20

Memo 8: We are no longer able to effectively support or manage Casual Day. Casual Day is
discontinued.

Friday, June 27, 2008

LIFE THROUGH THE EYES OF THE ALPHABET

A--Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B--Break Away
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

C--Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.

D--Decide
Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the
way.

E--Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about
yourself.

F--Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G--Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H--Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I--Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small
inkling of what the future holds.

J--Journey
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

K--Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L--Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.

M--Manage
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.

N--Notice
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.

O--Open
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

P--Play
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.

Q--Question
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.

R--Relax
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.

S--Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

T--Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U--Use
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

V--Value
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.

W--Work
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.

X--X-Ray
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.

Y--Yield
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.

Z--Zoom
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Dubai's Twirling Tower


Much like the city itself, Dubai’s upcoming Dynamic Tower will be constantly changing. As the urban skyline grows around it, this building will swivel in the wind. Its 80 floors rotate independently, ensuring that the tower will never look the same way twice, the architects say.

The stores pivot around a central spine, and in between each apartment spins a wind-turbine – an extra innovation that turns these rotating homes into self-sufficient powerhouses.

Dubai’s Dynamic Tower won’t be open until 2010, but they started taking reservations this week. The condos cost from $3.7 million to $36 million – about $3,000 per square foot. The penthouses will be able to control the rotation of their own units, but the building’s designers control the spin of the lower floor. Each revolution takes between one and three hours.

The architects plan to complete another Dynamic Tower in Moscow before 2011 and possibly a third in New York City.

Part of the clever design springs from its construction scheme. Each story is made from prefabricated parts. The rooms are assembled in a workshop, transported to the site, and then attached to the building’s spine. This will be the first skyscraper to be built entirely from premade pieces, according to the company, and the plan will shave off up to 20 percent of normal building costs.

“Each floor of the building can be completed in only seven days,” says architect David Fisher, who announced the design yesterday. “From now on, buildings will be made in a factory.”

Check out two videos of the twirling tower here and here.

Visit http://www.dynamicarchitecture.net/


Wednesday, June 25, 2008

How to Receive a Quick Police Response!

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.


George Phillips of Gold Coast, Australia was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. ( Boy does this sound familiar! )

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

Fast police response

He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your house?' and he said 'no'. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, 'Okay,' hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

'Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them.' Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: 'I thought you said that you'd shot them!'

George said, 'I thought you said there was nobody available!'

Monday, June 9, 2008

Brain Teaser - CHALLENGE

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it." OK, relax, clear your mind and....... begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?





The answer is "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.


2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?





Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as "Children's World." If you said "water" then proceed to


Question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?




Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions????? If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in no man's land?"





Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?





Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

1 Re = 45 $ ??

Here is an old imagination.... but renewed now..

What will happens if ONE INDIAN RUPEE = FORTY-FIVE AMERICAN DOLLARS !!!

There's tremendous improvement in the economy of India. India's exports increase, imports decrease.

India becomes a super power as Economy is Power.

That is this. Yes. From today on,

"ONE INDIAN RUPEE = FORTY-FIVE AMERICAN DOLLARS"

Imgaine... from then, this may happen...
(SOMEONE FROM INDIA WOULD UNDERSTAND IT BETTER)
-------------------------------------------------------

SCENE 1

Venue : Microsoft Corporation, New York, US

Some s/w engineers are seeing some photographs.

s/w engg 1 : What's that?

s/w engg 2 : Bob's photographs from India.

s/w engg 1 : Wow. Let me see. Which is this place?

s/w engg 3 : (Sees the photo) This is Park lane Street, Secunderabad

s/w engg 1 : Fundoo yaar! And what is this? He's got an TVS 50 also.

s/w engg 2 : Let me see (sees).This guy

enjoys life maan...

s/w engg 3 : You know how much an TVS 50 costs? Nearly 200K. Say it in dollars...200,000 * 45........oh GOD !!!!!!

s/w engg 2: Oops. We can't dream of such a thing here.

s/w engg 1 : Let's go to India & try for a job.

[Everybody excited.]

-------------------------------------------------------

SCENE 2

Venue: Sun microsystems, SanFrancisco, California, US

s/w engg 1: I'm with you man. My Visa is expected anytime. Soon I will fly to India

s/w engg 2 : Ohhh.... When is the party?

s/w engg 1: When I get it on hand.

s/w engg 2: Where will you be working?

s/w engg 1 : I'll be working in Gachibowli

s/w engg 2 : Oh! Gachibowli. Great yaar. where is this ?

s/w engg 1 : It is in Hyderabad.

s/w engg 3 : Fundoo place yaar. Nice climate Not like California.You'll love the weather yaar. One of my friends is in Jaipur,Rajasthan...He says it's the ultimate place to live in. Cool maan.

s/w engg 2 : Who is the client yaar?

s/w engg 1: You know Hyderabad Municipal Corporation?

s/w engg 3 : Yeah. HMC. One of my friends is there in the Road Cleaning Division. Most challenging job yaar. People are working in the cutting edge of technology there.

s/w engg 1 : I'll be writing software for the accounts department of the GCU.

s/w engg 2: GCU? what it means...?

s/w engg 1 : that is Garbage Collecting Unit.

s/w engg 3 : : Great yaar. That's what I like about that country. You can get a job which requires all your skill. Not like here. See I'm writing software for the space shuttle remote control.I hate this.

s/w engg 1 : Don't worry guys. I'll give you my Hotmail id. You can send your resume to me and I'll forward it to the HRD.

[Everybody takes down his Hotmail id.]

-------------------------------------------------------

SCENE 3

Venue: IBM, New York, US

(Conversation between a Male s/w engg. and Female s/w engg.)

Male : Hi!

Female: Hi. You know. I'm planning to settle in India soon.

Male : What??

Female : Yeah. My marriage will be here in America only. He is doing his Ph.D in JNTU and he's coming here for a month. His study will be over in 2 months. He's already got a job in SEB (Secunderabad Electricity Board). We planned to settle in Secunderabad itself... I'm also planning to work there. Let's see...

Male: Good luck... dont forget us & US...

-------------------------------------------------------

SCENE 4

Venue: Intel Corp. US

s/w engg 1: Great news guys. Our George has got admission in the Osmania Arts College in Hyderabad with scholarship for B.A History. A great new field yaar...

All are excited...

George : Got my Visa yesterday. It's all finalized now.

s/w engg 2 : Congrats yaar. So you are out of this country.

s/w engg 1 : B.A in Histroy...ohh...man, enjoy your life there?

s/w engg 2 : : Got full aid, eh?

George : Yeah. Got the UGC scholarship That will be 1200 Rupees per Year.

s/w engg 1 : Great. Enjoy.

s/w engg 2 : (Thinking loud): 1200 Indian Rupees...! that means 1200 * 45 = 54000 Dollars... with that amount I can buy an three bed-room flat & a Mercedes here...!!!

Saturday, June 7, 2008

How to ask Leave from your Boss !!

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What are you doing?"I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days." I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her, "And where do you think you're going?"
:
:
:
:
:
:
She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark."

Friday, June 6, 2008

BELIEVE IT OR NOT.....

What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common? A. All invented by women.
* This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
A. Honey
* A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
* A snail can sleep for three years.
* All polar bears are left handed.
* American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
* Butterflies taste with their feet.
* Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
* In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
* Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
* Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
* Michael Jordan gets more money from Nike annually than ALL of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
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