Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Strategies - Nice One :-)

Chandrababuism

You have two cows in Vijayawada. You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad.


Jayalalithaism

You have two cows. You teach them to cry,"Ammaaaaaaa..."and fall at your feet.


Karunanidhiism

You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew .


Gandhism

You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.


Indiraism

You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.


Lalooism

You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.


Rajnikantism

You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.


Rajivism

You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.


Softwarism: (Ultimate... .)

Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them.

1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)

2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)

3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design)

4 . Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them
(Framework)

5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client
the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)

6 . If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2

7 You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem
with accessories. (Change framework)

8 . Redo step 4

9 . At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)

10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)

11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.

12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls

13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)

14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)

15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk

16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow
rate (performance issue)

17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.

18. Client is happy???

By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk. (The software got old and
get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Kirchoff's Law

To all , who know how to solve the problems mathematically, something for you all. Please solve it

Kirchoff's Current Law (KCL):
At every node, the sum of all currents entering a node must equal zero.

Kirchoff's Voltage Law (KVL):
The voltage law says that the sum of voltages around every closed loop in the circuit must equal zero.

Exercise :
Please apply Kirchoff's Current and Voltage laws to the following figures.

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I think Kirchoff's himself would struggle to solve this problem :)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Fire Drill !!!!

XYZ Office -> A fire alarm rang at 6 PM when almost all shift employees are in office (approx 5000). As usual entire office was evacuated within

3 mins & every employee gathered outside office. 10 mins passed...

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5 more mins passed.

Security Officer -> Announcement started, "Dear Employees - With melting heart I am making this announcement that for many of you it will be a last evacuation drill, as we are laying off almost 80% employee. While moving in who-so-ever ID card won't work are layed off & all their belongings will be couriered to them tomorrow. We followed this approach as we don't want to fill email box size with layoff mail in thousands & also to avoid any fight inside office". Hope you have nice career ahead.

Please move in & try your luck.

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